Gifts For Writers 2020 (Pandemic Edition?)

When again, the HOLIDAYS are upon us, where we may GATHER WITH FRIENDS and RENEW OUR BONDS WITH FAMILY and SHARE AEROSOLIZED MIST between us and BREATHE IN EACH OTHERS VARIOUS PATHOGENS INCLUDING THE DELETERIOUS and highly infectious CORONAVIRUS and together we can merrily OVERWHELM HOSPITALS AND

* checks notes *.

Wait no were not expected to do any of that?

Shit! Shit. Never mind. Backspace all that.

What Im trying to say is, it is the vacations, and you might discover that during these holidays, a wild author has actually appeared, and authors are a peculiar type and can only be calmed with a select set of particular gifts. Provide them the incorrect presents and they will haunt your house for a years, and write nasty books about you. We are cruel trickster gods, everyone.

Their mileage might differ.

As constantly, these are gifts that the writer in your life might or might not like or find beneficial.

A pandemic tension relief friend: early on, with our kiddo going virtual, we understood he was going to feel some level of aggravation and we didnt want that pressure constructing up in him like a rogue Instant Pot IED, and so we thought, all right, lets buy him something for that. And we bought him this motherfucker right here. If you want an even more punchable (and more affordable) dummy, this smiling bastard is simply asking to have his block knocked off.

Literary methods to filter viruses from your face: Out of Print has a series of amazing book-themed masks, including a Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy facemask. BookRiot has an excellent list here, too.

Please to enjoy.

All of us Live In Zoom Now: So maybe the author in your life needs a ring light?

Were All Birders Now, Too: I indicate, seriously, I write and sit and then stop composing and look at birds. Or perhaps buy a witch spell that turns an author into a bird due to the fact that fuck it.

Distraction-free, irony-heavy writing gadget: The FreeWrite has a new gadget out, and its The Traveler– an author can use this no-frills word processor and pretend like theyre composing and taking a trip the world in uncommon, sublime locations instead of sitting at the dining-room table with a cat in their lap and a feline on their head and a dog farting in the corner and probably a child crying someplace.

Outrageous plug inserted in the center so you hopefully dont discover its shamelessness: I wrote a book, its called Damn Fine Story, I believe its pretty excellent? Maybe? Its everything about the weave and weft of storytelling– the shape of narrative, the parts, the patterns, the methods to break those patterns. It likewise features a story about an elk masturbating, which is plainly a worth include. You can purchase it in print or digital. And yes, Virginia, there is an audio variation now.

Actually any book from any indie book shop. Writers like books. We eat them. Did you not know that? We no longer read them, weve ascended beyond that point and now require them as food. We still get the story! We simply do it with our teeth instead of our eyes. Anyhow. Indie bookstores are an essential part of our Book Ecosystem– and we want them to make it through so that we can make it through. If youve an author in your life, simply get them books from your local indie. Or checkout indiebound.org or bookshop.org. My two local stores likewise ship to you– Doylestown Bookshop and Lets Play Books. If you need a book concept, get the author in your life a copy of your favorite book. The one you can not live without. That or a giftcard. Giftcards are fantastic. Or a pony. Do book shops sell ponies? No? Shit.

Or, a deck of composing triggers! The staggeringly great Dreyers English now has a game version!

See in 2015s Gifts For Writers (2019) here.

Some Gods Damned Self-Care: I must suggest Maggie Smiths Keep Moving? Print, digital. Im also a sucker for anything lavender-smelling, and lavender from Maui a minimum of can have you pretending like you traveled to Hawaii rather of standing hunched over in your cooking area doomscrolling your phone. An author may likewise like alcohol and ice cream, and you can integrate the two at Clementines. Is that the best combination that exists? Yes. Unless youre a diabetic lactose-intolerant alcoholic in which case, uhh, sorry? Maybe stick to the lavender cream?

Appyteasers: John August, ever the smart guy, has produced his own composing app– its for script-writing, but versatile enough you can use it in other methods. Highland 2, go grabby.

Get Them Some Learnin: Subscribe them to Dongwon Songs PUBLISHING IS HARD Substack.

ANYWAY, thats it.

Includes no actual rockets: Rocketbook is a digital eternal-use note pad. Which makes it a bit more sustainable than the average authorial note pad hoard. I have an authors shed and as a point of trivia, we built it out of the thousands of notebooks I have actually accrued throughout the years. Buy here, or go here to see how it works. Or, for a various version of sustainable that requires no app-based anything: Karst notebooks are 100% tree complimentary, and made from … stone? Like, stone-stone? Apparently so. Heres their procedure. Heres their notebooks.

Provide Some Oxygen: Seriously, were all caught in our houses, purchase an author a plant.

If youve a writer in your life, simply get them books from your local indie. Buy this for the author in your life. Every writer I know likes this fucking video game and they should. I have an authors shed and as a point of trivia, we developed it out of the thousands of notebooks I have accumulated over the years.

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The Idea Toolset: I am a fan of Baron Figs notebooks and Squire pen, and theyve integrated that into a single deal with a carrying case: their Idea Toolset. Seriously, the Squire pen is my favorite.

Go to hell: if you desire narrative video gaming, look no even more than Hades. Purchase this for the author in your life. Every author I understand likes this fucking video game and they should. Its a rogue-lite, and I typically dislike those (and rogue-likes) rill hard. Due to the fact that they draw. This one does not draw. Passing away is a pleasure since it advances the great story of Zagreus, kid of Hades, trying his damnedest to get away the Underworld. Its fucking fantastic. Its beautiful. The story is the game and the game is the story. Get it. Storytelling lessons abound. Plus? An excellent distraction.

And if you wan na inspect older lists, here are links to 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015, 2014.

Or maybe buy a witch spell that turns an author into a bird because fuck it.

Ive used the Wander app to actually go to locations Im composing about in lieu of being able to travel, and its honestly helped. Worth possibly looking to connected alternatives, instead, however that will require an excellent computer to go with it.

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