This past weekend, I attended a guyss retreat out in the woods. For the greater part of a day, we sat in a circle, facing each other, sharing the words that wounded us and the ones we longed to hear. Words can do a lot, it seems, depending upon how you utilize them.
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A couple of days later, there are still phrases that were spoken in that circle that continue to resound in the walls of my mind. Like:
You are so lovable.
Its not your fault.
What we say to one another matters now more than ever in the past. How do we find the ideal words?
Words wound, too.
This previous week, I did an interview on the healing power of words, and it occurred to me that this can not be stressed enough: Words can recover, or they can hurt. And if we arent practiced in the art of wielding these weapons well, we can do a lot of damage.
No one has more integrity than you.
So, I implore you: Please select the words you use carefully, the ones you speak and the ones you compose, the ones you publish, and the ones you publish. Due to the fact that its not just sticks and stones that break bones.
Recently, Ive been believing a lot about what words can do. They can cut a person down or lift them up. They can overwhelm another with beauty or devastate their soul. I am always looking for the words that wish to be stated since when you discover them, they can alter whatever. As Kerouac said, “One day, I will discover the best words, and they will be simple.” My hope is the exact same.
As a male, I deal with offering and receiving the present of affirmation. But all of us wish to hear and share the ideal words, dont we? Theres absolutely nothing even worse than opening your mouth and wanting you hadnt, producing one more mess you have to clean up.
Somebody as soon as told me that a man who doesnt trust his strength hurts people. I think that. A writer who doesnt understand the power of her words can wound others. Dear creator, take care with the words you share. Dont be too bold. Delicately usher your significance and stories and ideas into the world with gentleness and ease, permitting them to land where they need.
This is a ten-year practice for me now, and my commitment to it is so strong that I cant refrain from doing it without feeling like something is “off” in my day. Its not regret, per se, just a sense that I am out of sync with myself and the rhythm of my day is rocky. I might no longer not lean into that identity when I chose to call myself a writer. It required me to take the everyday routine of writing much more seriously when I started calling myself an author. You may wish to do the very same.
And lest you get alarmed by a word like “system,” understand that all this indicates is a repeatable method of doing something. In my case, I follow an easy process that enables me to capture concepts all day long through random notes on my phone, then take one of those ideas and translate it into a draft the next day, and from there edit an older piece of material from a previous day of writing.
Ive had a routine composing habit for over a decade, and it– together with my everyday walks– is the very best thing I ever provided for my creativity. I highly recommend it.
Ive said this in the past, and Ill state it again, if you wish to get proficient at something, find a location and a time of day when you can regularly do it, and that consists of writing. For me, thats typically very first thing in the early morning, after I get the kids off to school and consume my morning coffee. But when it cant happen then, I get a little time in the afternoon or night.
By, the way, if you require any assistance with this, Im hosting a series of complimentary, live trainings today around creating a writing practice. Discover more at writeabestseller.org/habit.
You require a routine writing habit.
I tend to compose a minimum of 500 words per day, whether its a newsletter or a poem, or a part of a book– it all counts. My objective is to get words down on the page. Like anything, practice makes it much easier and enables you to increase the intensity of the activity.
Create a minimum of one day every day.
Turn among those concepts into a 500-word draft and save the editing for later.
Edit a piece I composed from a previous day.
So whether its early in the day or later, set an intention to write every day, if you can, and attempt to stay with it. Do not require yourself to do it– shame is not sustainable. Instead, get clear and truthful with yourself: Is this something you actually wish to do? If yes, then make a commitment to yourself, and keep it. If we cant even keep the pledges we make to ourselves, we can not be reliable. I have actually decided that I will be the last person in my life to dissatisfy.
Second, compose with a goal in mind.
Lastly, as you go through your day, trust that words come– and have a means of organizing them. Composing, for me, is a spiritual practice, which indicates it is a dance in between mayhem and order. If theres excessive order, you can lose the motivation; and with excessive mayhem, its difficult to end up anything.
This, I believe, is where most writers fail: they dont understand how to arrange their writing, and as an outcome, they have a great deal of loose ideas in note pads or saved money on a hard disk someplace, and this messiness in itself does not make any kind of meaningful work. At the exact same time, there are those who take art and try to turn it into a formula, and my experience of creativity is that it is constantly a little a lovely mess.
Practice this art of linking your heart to the readers but crafting something small every day. There is no other way to learn this.
I call this the 3-Bucket System, and its what works for me.
What would a regular writing habit provide for you?
I tend to write a minimum of 500 words per day, whether its a poem or a newsletter, or a part of a book– it all counts. As you go through your day, trust that words come– and have a means of organizing them. And lest you get alarmed by a word like “system,” understand that all this indicates is a repeatable method of doing something.
For the higher part of a day, we sat in a circle, facing each other, sharing the words that wounded us and the ones we longed to hear. Words can do a lot, it seems, depending on how you utilize them.