With One Week To Go, Here’s My Prediction Of What Happens On Election Day

The Senate is up for grabs. Our current president believes ladiess body parts are up for grabs. Why not dig into the surveys, do some nitty-gritty, examine the possible results, and lay out what I think will be the likeliest course of action on that day.

Ready?

Here it is:

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA

AHHHHHHHHH

I am an extremely dithering ping-pong ball in a table tennis game played by devils and angels– my heart goes from table side to table side, from WANTON FOOLISH OPTIMISM to GUT-CHURNING SOUL-CRUSHING PESSIMISM, with little possibility to pick either. My hope is Schroedingers Cat in the goddamn box: it is dead and alive at the very same time, its fate unknown until package is finally opened and the cat is exposed. I have literally no idea what is to come. How could you? This is 2020. This is the year of CHAOS INCARNATE. Come Wednesday we mightve chosen a hive of huge hornets to the highest workplace in the land, and truthfully, it d be an improvement on what we got.

None of the shit theyve tried to stick to Biden has stuck, and Trump appears, from my window at least, to be flailing– and I dont say that as a Triumphant Liberal, because typically liberals are the very first to be like OH GOD MY CANDIDATE IS DROWNING IN THE ABYSS THE OTHER GUY IS GON NA WIN. Theres a stink around Trump thats like what you get off a car-struck raccoon– a rotten, puffed up odor. Oh, rich individuals are getting richer, thats nice, if youre mega-rich.

His priorities have been:

a) rich people

b) bigotry

c) judges

Further, theyve produced a pipeline that pumps shit into individualss heads while persuading them its caviar. People have actually built for themselves not so much an echo chamber as a Jonestown enclave with all the “”” definitely unpoisoned””” Flavor-Aid you need. I mean, you try to tell people “hi thats not a real thing you simply said” and they snap back with WELL DO YOUR OWN RESEARCH regardless of the reality they did actually no research at all except reading an email from Old Uncle Dave who said that the Democrats are terminating babies in Brooklyn pizza ovens in order to calm the Demonic Socialist Treaties.

However this is America in 2020. The writing is centipedes. The wall is a glitching TELEVISION screen. Theres no stability. No sense to whats going on. Part of that is deliberate– its not that 2020 is some type of CURSED YEAR (other than it totally is), however that the Grand Ole Party has committed a violent psychological assault on our brains. They are hypocrites at every turn, they are liars, they question proficiency, they lie, they turn their face from fundamental facts– the ground underneath us is unsteady due to the fact that they have devoted to its instability. They can get away with more bullshit if we are unstable. If were trying to capture a bunch of falling plates and cups from rattled cabinets, they can take our money and jewels and family pets while we flail. Due to the fact that theyre continuously on the offense, were continuously on the defense. Due to the fact that its INFINITE PUNCHES, all we can do is obstruct punches.

Its 2020. And white supremacy is a helluva drug.

And part of that is down to the reality that this binary result is by no suggests the only, and even likely outcome. We have far greater shenanigans that could occur, friendos. Biden could win, and Trump might contest it, and now that hes got Supreme Court Justice Handmaids Tale in the seat, she might toss the election to him. Specifically if Biden doesnt win in a landslide, the kind that ends up picked Election Night, even though no election is ever really picked election night. If we have anything approaching Bush V. Gore, theyve packed the courts so hard with corrupt bastards, that fate is composed. Theyre pleased to do the devils work on this one.

In a typical year, in a normal nation, the writing is on the wall.

Could Trump win? I didnt think he might win the first time. Hell, one could argue that he didnt– between losing the popular vote and a bunch of inference, it stays unclear how “legitimate” that election even was. Do I believe its possible hes built on his union from 2020? That hes acquired citizens rather of lost them? Its hard to imagine, due to the fact that Ive seen anecdotally (nationwide and local) a number of Republicans who have actually bailed– they saw a “entrepreneur,” desired some change, and got absolutely nothing for the bet. Hes withered on the vine and invests his time just shit-barfing on Twitter all the time, and meanwhile factories and farms and small companies are kicked to the curb. Its actually tough to imagine individuals getting onboard a hayride full of manure as it totters drunkenly towards a cliff.

I dont know what takes place! I have no prediction! Revolution! Coup! Evangelical pogroms! Trump eats babies while implicating Democrats of consuming babies! Democrats treating all this as regular up until theyre tossed into prison! Boogaloo-slash-Proud Boy TV network! Fire bees! Laser bears! Holes! Holes opening up below all of his, holes from whence goblins crawl, holes that stink of sulfur and gibber and moan! Aaaah! HAhahahaahAHAHA AAHHH WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING WHAT THE SHIT IS GOING TO HAPPEN ARE WE GOING TO BE OKAY ARE WE NOT GOING TO BE OKAY JESUS EFFING CHRIST ON A CRAPWAGON THERES STILL THE PANDEMIC AND STILL THE RISING BOIL-TIDE OF CLIMATE CHANGE AND AAAAAAAH PLEASE MAKE THE SHITTY PRESIDENT SHUT UP AND GO AWAY I NEVER WANT TO HEAR HIM OR SEE HIM OR LAY EYES ON HIS MAGGOTY FUCKING TWEETS EVERY AGAIN AAAAAAAAEEHhhghghhhrrble

But this aint typical.

Beyond that, hes got absolutely nothing. Hes proposed no agenda for 2020, and the GOPs program for 2020 is, “uhhh, what d Trump say?” and round and round we go.

I got absolutely nothing.

The Cursed Year 2020 might have other things in store.

All in equal proportions.

Could Biden win? I didnt think he might back in the primaries. Hes made it clear hes the guy who embraces empathy and science and while usually I d hope those would be obvious choices for campaign planks, its 2020 and weve got a president who jerks off to Q-Anon propaganda and who does not have standard competency in almost whatever.

Theres all the additional enjoyable add-ons– protest! General strike! Civil war! Shit, if I awakened on Wednesday and the news stated, “Both governmental candidates were consumed by starving polar bears, which tosses the election to Kanye West,” I d be like, yeah, that tracks. Due to the fact that I do not know! I do not know whats happening! I dont know whats boiling down the pike! Its most likely not going to be excellent. Shits on fire! Were under the boots of a blossoming theocratic kleptocracy, and even simply stating those words makes me seem like Ive lost my marbles. It sounds too severe, too afraid– it cant be that bad, ideal? Other than the majority is ruled by a minority who is significantly pushing faith over science, who prompts white supremacy and misogyny over addition, who is continually working to undermine the vote instead of get the vote out, who is expecting grand overtures of appreciation for doing actually absolutely nothing other than injuring people, who supports a president that consistently makes remarks about being president for an extra four years, or 8, or for life, or requiring his children end up being president next, or, or, or. Its saying and seeing a house, “Well, that home is clearly great, its a house, its simply standing there,” while at the same time understanding the whole thing is riddled with termites and will fall down in a stiff breeze. It looks all right from the outside, however its rotten to the core.

So, in a typical time, he could not win.

Ahem.

What I got is this:

The laser bears.

And I understand that if the shit hits the fan, we can count on the individuals to get on some comfortable shoes and a coat and struck the streets, particularly for those who cant. And I believe we need to be all set for that. We should be there for each other and for our democracy, in the voting cubicles, on the streets, in the charities that require us, for everybody who is reaching out and will be injured by 4 more years of this venomous, inept administration.

I have hope in you.

I have hope in laser bears.

Im not alone.

Youre not alone.

Due to the fact that, I mean, at this moment, why the fuck not?

LASER BEARS 2024

pyoo pyoo

Oh, rich individuals are getting richer, thats great, if youre mega-rich. Its really difficult to think of people getting onboard a hayride full of manure as it totters drunkenly toward a cliff.

* bear sounds *.

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Biden could win, and Trump could contest it, and now that hes got Supreme Court Justice Handmaids Tale in the seat, she might throw the election to him. Except the majority is ruled by a minority who is increasingly pushing religious beliefs over science, who advises white supremacy and misogyny over inclusion, who is constantly working to weaken the vote rather than get the vote out, who is expecting grand overtures of appreciation for doing actually absolutely nothing except hurting people, who supports a president that consistently makes remarks about being president for an additional 4 years, or eight, or for life, or requiring his children end up being president next, or, or, or. And I know that if the shit strikes the fan, we can count on the people to get on some comfy shoes and a jacket and struck the streets, particularly for those who cant.

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